Thursday, 15 February 2018

Systole & Diastole



Systole & Diastole


It is a hot, dry day in Africa’s most wealthy nation, Nigeria. A small contingent of soldiers mill about a checkpoint on a road running through the sub-saharan desert when, seemingly out of nowhere, there appear two women just a ways along the road and headed towards them. The women are walking strangely, with their arms held away from their bodies. As they come closer to the checkpoint the soldiers tell them to stop where they are. The response they receive to their demand brings a slight chill to the otherwise hot day, the women shout out: “[w]e are carrying bombs, we were forced to[!]”1 and they lift their shirts to show the suicide vests strapped beneath. It would be due to note, however, that this situation is not entirely alien to these soldiers. As a matter of fact, they are soldiers of the Civilian Joint Task Force (CJTF) and they are assigned to this post, in this area, as part of a counter force against the source of these bombs’ intent. You may wonder what sort of agency would deploy ‘non-determined’ suicide bombers in some sort of hopeful act of terror, and the answer is Boko Haram. Boko Haram is popularly understood as one of the world’s deadliest terrorist organizations. The group sprouted, and now thrives, in northern Nigeria and is fond of using women and children as human bombs to kill as many people as possible in an effort to overthrow the Nigerian government and install a Sharia Caliphate in place of it.2 This paper will argue that the Boko Haram and political corruption in Nigeria has become a cyclical storm of causation which will not be easily arrested. We will first look at the possessor of the state, the Nigerian government, and show the unrestful environment which it has bred, afterwhich we will come to examine that which has been bred within such an environment.


The Corrupted Landlord

Nigeria is a state which sits upon a horde of wealth. Tin, iron ore, coal, limestone, niobium, natural gas, lead, zinc, arable land, and especially petroleum3 reserves perpetrate the nation and stoke the fires of its national wealth. 34% of Nigeria’s annual income is generated by its oil reserves alone. Sitting at the number one African nation by gross domestic product (GDP),4 even when considering the 177 million citizens which that wealth is --or should be-- spread across, Nigeria still sits in the top 20 African nations by GDP per capita.5 We can imagine that, even if underdeveloped, it should be progressing towards development quite nicely. Unfortunately this is far from the case.

What we actually find in Nigeria is that most of the wealth it generates is sucked up by corrupt political elites. This can be understood through the lens of the Rentier State Theory and the Resource Curse Thesis. The former conception describes a phenomenon where “resource abundance causes weak and predatory state institutions,”6 while the latter conception “claims that oil rents generate economic stagnation, authoritarianism, and heightened vulnerability to civil war.”6 Rentier Theory is a blatantly appropriate framework, for when looking at the data we find that between 2000 and 2014 there were 1,632 separate charges of high-profile corruption being processed in the Nigerian judicial system. These 1,632 charges were spread across 46 defendants, 13 of whom were governors of state, which represented 12 of 37 states within the country. In total these 46 individuals ‘mismanaged’ the Nigerian equivalent of 1.123 billion USD.7 We can imagine that actually much more corruption is going on than just that which these elites have been caught for. While this staggering amount of high-profile corruption, in itself, screams ‘Rentier Theory’, the fact that the corruption is being arrested and dealt with judicially suggests that at least some of the Nigerian institutions are running as they should. However, this assumption quickly deflates when finding out that:

[I]n all these cases of corruption none of the culprits is currently being detained or serving jail term . . . a clear indication of the failure of the Nigerian judiciary to prosecute politicians and ex-public officials. Even Ayo Fayose, who is a chief culprit on the list, has recently been re-elected as the governor of Ekiti state. Also, the inclusion of one of the most corrupt political office holders Mr. Diepreye Alamieyeseigha in the ongoing national conference play down the seriousness of the government to fight corruption in high places. Giving these two scenarios where these offenders are not held accountable for their corrupt crimes, and are in fact rewarded with political appointments, corruption in Nigerian governance can therefore be described as a viper draining the blood of the Nigerian state.8

Which leaves our rentier-framework standing strong in the face of such criticisms. This leads us to our consideration of the Resource Curse Thesis.


The Rebellious Tenant

With so much corruption within the state it is perhaps plain to presume the effects of economic stagnation and authoritarian-esque politics, but it is actually the third qualification of the Resource Curse Thesis with which we will be most interested in in the case of Nigeria: increased vulnerability to civil war.

It is important to note that Boko Haram has gone through several distinct evolutions during its extant period. The Boko Haram with which we will be concerned is the fifth of five evolutions through progressive radicalization. It was in 2002 that Mohammed Yusuf radicalized the group, and one year later they were put to work in the political sphere under the thumb of Ali Modu Sherrif. Sherrif used the group both for strong-arming political opposition, as well as to have a large body of decided votes in his favour.9 Boko Haram worked with Sherrif with the promise that he would implement sharia law once elected in 2003. He failed to live up to his promise and the group came to embody their fourth incarnation alongside the All Nigeria Peoples’ Party (ANPP). Still close with Sherrif, and also ANPP, Boko Haram would experience its most recent transformation seven years later in 2010 due to a severe straining of relations between themselves and Sherrif.9 This final incarnation is understood to be an embodiment of ‘pure terrorism.’ Now responsible for their own agenda, the terror group set their sights upon the politics and presidency of Goodluck Jonathan.9


The Unsigned Contract

Nigeria was formed by the British colonial-push through Africa, and thus its borders are not reflective of the demographics within. It is estimated that there are 250 distinct ethnic groups encompassed within the power structure of this contemporary state.10 And while this massive and complex array of distinctions certainly contributes to the turmoil of the political atmosphere, the true disquiet is manifested by --perhaps not surprisingly-- the differentiation of the Islamic North and the Christian South. These two groups truly struggle and strive, each for the other’s domination. This political contrast was, mistakenly, assumed to have been corrected for via an informal power-sharing arrangement where the North would hold power for eight years, followed by the South for eight.11 Unfortunately this arrangement spun out of control when the northerner Umaru Musa Yar’Adua died, unexpectedly, only three years into his supposed eight year hold of control. It was at this point that Goodluck Jonathan, a southerner, contested the election and won, stealing power back from the North five years prior to the informally agreed upon reciprocation.11

It was precisely this ‘injustice’ which Boko Haram leveraged to truly embark upon its holy war in the country. The aims of the group are a harkening back to the 19th century Sokoto Caliphate, and the jihad orchestrated by Sheik Usman Dan Fodio. Fodio waged jihad upon the Hausa people and, in conquering them, installed a government, espousing sharia law, known as the Sokoto Caliphate, to rule the lands. The Sokoto Caliphate was an enormous political structure, covering an expanse of approximately 250,000 square miles all across northern Nigeria and parts of present-day Niger Republic.12 We can imagine this to be the kind of control, power, and reach that Boko Haram now thrives for in its own desire to dominate the southern, Christian, political arena and have sharia installed by the ‘true’ political elite, the Muslim North. Since the South is against entirely ceding their power and influence to a sharia caliphate of the Muslim North, we thus encounter our most prominent issue: the terror of Boko Haram and pursuant civil war, it is only now that we see clearly the qualification of the Resource Curse Thesis.

This informal power trading agreement, combined with the volatility of one towards the other (South towards North and vice versa), lays some particularly appropriate groundwork to begin to understand the essential nature of Nigerian corruption. The Christian South (and so too the Muslim North) only has eight years of prosperity before enduring eight years of political isolation. So those in power will certainly horde the wealth and power while it is in their hands. I know that if I could forsee a near-decade of coming hardship for my family, and I had access to wealth until that time came then I would certainly ensure I ‘set some aside’ to provide for them in the coming years.


Cultural Killing Fields

[T] he fundamental source of conflict in this new world will not be primarily ideological or primarily economic. The great divisions among humankind and the dominating source of conflict will be cultural.13

The above-quoted seems to be the case in Nigeria. For it is not simply Boko Haram which clashes with the state from the North, but so too is the state clashed with by groups such as Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), and Movement for the Actualization of the Sovereign State of Biafra (MASSOB), from the South.14 Onwuegbuchulam argues that the oppression and subjugation inherent in the power structure from British-Colonialism has simply been left in place and adopted by the contemporary Nigerian political elites,15 causing an unsolicited degree of ethno-religious diversity which then leads to a complex inability to agree on any sort of coherent and universal national identity. It can be supposed that this lack of national cohesion is the causal root behind both the corrupt practices of the governing powers, as well as the emerging splinter states of the common populace.

And thus we begin to see the true difficulty within Nigeria, what is the need for a cohesive and universally respected Nigerian identity; which sharply conflicts with the various demographics’ intense desire to not be ‘Nigerian’ per say. We can imagine that a thriving state and economy could hold the potential to pull these various independent actors together in some semi-coherent manner, but what is actually occurring is a rather unfortunate case of politico-economic entropy. Business people are no longer interacting with one another, foreign investors and businesses are pulling out of these areas of volatility, and domestic workers are leaving their jobs in volatile areas and relocating to safer states; this is all due to a fear of being killed in public spaces with multiple people present.16 We can see some correlation between figures 1A and 1B in that between 2011 and 2016 violence trends up while GDP trends down. While it is difficult to argue that the politico-economic distress inherent within Nigeria’s borders are causing deficiencies in its Human Development Indices (HDI), it is more straightforward to argue that such distress is withholding the growth potential in HDI. The United Nations Human Development Report states that a “[l]ack of social cohesion is correlated with conflict and violence, especially in situations of unequal access to resources or benefits from natural wealth.”17 So the way forward from violence could be to level out the distribution of resources, thereby raising the HDI, in an effort to sooth radicalization and terror. But to redistribute the resources we would first need to quell political corruption. And to quell political corruption we would first need to redistribute the resources --circular necessity-- Thus I propose that the only way forward is to remove both sides of this wheel of causation at once, by abolishing the Nigerian state and allowing it to remake itself how the people desire. While there are clearly issues and concerns with the ‘Balkanization’ of Nigeria, I remain convinced that it is a rational route.


Other Considerations

There are, of course, other ways to view the causal chain of the Nigerian quagmire. I have argued in favour of what might be considered a social constructivist approach that I shall term ‘social cyclicism’. This is based upon my line of argumentation that political corruption created the atmosphere and conditions appropriate for Boko Haram to develop, and whence developed Boko Haram reinforced the atmosphere and conditions appropriate for political corruption to thrive. So while one certainly came before the other, they have now begun to play off of, and reinforce, one another to such a degree that it would now be extremely difficult to separate one from the other in any sort of bloodless sense.

Another view of the matter is a Neo-Realist view, what is to suggest that the government is corrupt because the power (and money) is there to be taken and so they take it for the purposes of statism, self-help, and survival. Meanwhile Boko Haram thrives due to identical concerns: they feel that the state is threatening their way of life and so they attempt to seize back some control via the only self-help method they have available to them, terrorism.

We could also take a Post-Colonial view, what would be to consider that the 250 distinct ethnic groups within Nigeria combined with the multiple religious beliefs simply do not sum up to a coherent state unit. That the British were wrong to draw such arbitrary lines across the African continent to begin with, and that the world was wrong to keep those lines there after decolonization. This view, I believe would also support my recommendation for the ‘Balkanization’ of Nigeria.


Conclusion

This has been quite the adventure throughout Nigeria’s past-history and also history in the making. We began by examining the corrupt practices of the Nigerian political elites, and suggested that the corruption paved the way for socio-political dissent among marginalized populations. We examined the burgeoning socio-political unrest that resulted being, primarily Boko Haram, but also IPOB and MASSOB. Touching upon the informal political power sharing arrangement between the Muslim North and Christian South it then became apparent why it was that this tedious balancing act fell tragically apart, being the unexpected death of Umaru Musa Yar’Adua, and the subsequent usurpation of control by Goodluck Jonathan. And just previous to a brief consideration of other theoretical lenses we dipped our toes into the slightly more murky waters of theoretical appropriation, with which we were able to look at the tense and deeply interwoven relationship between politico-socio-cultural atmosphere, economics, and HDI which finally supposed my supposition that the forces at work in the entropic Nigerian desert have actually begun to play off of and reinforce one another to such a degree that they are no longer separable.





Figures



1A.18



1B.19




Notes

  1. Maclean
  2. Onwuegbuchulam, p. 76
  3. “Nigeria facts and figures”
  4. “List of African countries by GDP”
  5. “List of African countries by GDP per capita”
  6. Waldner, p. 2
  7. Bamidele, pp. 76 - 80
  8. Bamidele, p. 80
  9. Mbah, p. 182
  10. Mbah, p. 180
  11. Mbah, p. 178
  12. Adeleye, p. 3
  13. Onwuegbuchulam quoting The Clash of Civilizations thesis, p. 77
  14. Onwuegbuchulam, p. 76
  15. Onwuegbuchulam paraphrasing -Amadi 2007-
  16. Imhonopi, p. 32
  17. Human Development Report 2014, p. 19
  18. Moody
  19. Holodny


Bibliography


Adeleye, R. A. “Introduction: The Uthman Dan Fodiye Jihad,” in Power and Diplomacy in Northern Nigeria 1804 - 1906: The Sokoto Caliphate and its Enemies. London: Longman Group Limited, 1971.

Akanji, Olajide O. “The Problem of Belonging: The Identity Question and the Dilemma of Nation-Building in Nigeria”. African Identities: Vol. 9, Iss. 2, pp. 117 - 132. May 2011. DOI: 10.1080/14725843.2011.556788

Bamidele, Oluwaseum, Azeez O. Olaniyan, Bonnie Ayodele. “In the Cesspool of Corruption: The Challenges of National Development and the Dilemma of Anti-Graft Agencies in Nigeria”. African Social Science Review: Vol. 7: No. 1, Article 5, pp. 103 - 129. June 2016. https://doi.org/10.1177/0169796X16653526

Holodny, Elena. “Nigeria is Headed for a ‘Full-Blown Economic Crisis’”. Business Insider. 22 May, 2016. http://www.businessinsider.com/nigeria-gdp-head-into-full-blown-crisis-2016-5

“Human Development Report 2014: Sustaining Human Progress: Reducing Vulnerabilities and Building Resilience”. United Nations Development Program. http://hdr.undp.org/sites/default/files/hdr14-report-en-1.pdf

Imonohopi, David, Ugochukwu Moses Urim. “The Spectre of Terrorism and Nigeria’s Industrial Development: A Multi-Stakeholder Imperative”. African Journal of Criminology and Justice Studies: Vol. 9, Iss. 1, pp. 20 - 40. May 2009.

Onwuegbuchulam, Sunday Paul Chinazo, Khonldo Mtshali. “To Be or Not to Be? A Theoretical Investigation into the Crisis of National Identity in Nigeria”. Africa Today: Vol. 64, Iss. 1. pp. 74 - 92. Fall 2017. DOI: 10.2979/africatoday.64.1.04

“List of African countries by GDP”. Statistics Times. 22 February, 2017. http://statisticstimes.com/economy/african-countries-by-gdp.php

“List of African countries by GDP per capita”. Statistics Times. 22 February, 2017. http://statisticstimes.com/economy/african-countries-by-gdp-per-capita.php

Maclean, Ruth. “Dressed for Death: the Women Boko Haram Sent to Blow Themselves Up”. The Guardian. May 05, 2017. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/05/dressed-for-death-the-women-boko-haram-sent-to-blow-themselves-up

Mbah, Peter, Chikodiri Nwangwu, Herbert C. Edeh. “Elite Politics and the Emergence of Boko Haram Insurgency in Nigeria”. Trames: A Journal of the Humanities and Social Sciences, Vol. 21: Iss. 2, pp. 173 - 190. 2017. https://doi.org/10.3176/tr.2017.2.06

Moody, James. “Trend 1: Rates of Violence in 2016”. Armed Conflict Location & Event Data Project. 18 January, 2017. https://www.acleddata.com/trend-1-rates-of-violence-in-2016/

“Nigeria facts and figures”. Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries. 2017. http://www.opec.org/opec_web/en/about_us/167.htm
Waldner, David, Benjamin Smith. N.p. 1 - 32. 17 August, 2013. http://www.benjaminbsmith.net/uploads/9/0/0/6/9006393/waldner.smith.oxford.chapter.pdf

In the Place Where There is No Darkness



In the Place Where There is No Darkness



‘Global government’ in this paper shall refer to an international institution which has the authority to make decisions regarding all agents within the system, and the power to see its decisions through. The closest thing to global government today is the United Nations (UN). The UN is thought to have the capability to prevent future massive conflicts. Following, however, is an argument to the contrary of that belief. I will argue that the UN fails to meet the necessary requirements for a proper global government. We will first examine the need for such an institution’s presence, looking at transnational issues (issues which ignore the borders of states, and so too ignore state sovereignty). Thereafter I will integrate case studies into the areas of security, the developmental world, and climate change to demonstrate the failings of the current system (the UN). Finally I will suggest a few possible evolutions the global population might take to rectify the need for, and lack of, a world government.


Transnational Issues and the Need for Global Governance

The need for global governance has been apparent for quite some time. Especially in the last century or so there has been a very sharp rise in the number and variations of transnational issues. Herein we will focus on: security in Syria, developmental Africa, and climate change in the United States. The UN is the sworn moderator in the areas of such issues, and yet there is little being done about them. As we will discover, it is less that the UN is not doing anything and moreso that the UN lacks the authority to enforce its own decisions. The UN is no longer feasible, it is well past the time that the hall-monitor of the Earth could sway the hands of fate in its favour. The world desperately needs a behemoth actor to materialize and take rigid control of the chaos in the world for the betterment and prosperity of all humankind. This behemoth will be an overarching global officialdom comprised of a neutral bureaucracy and enforcement structure. The bureaucracy will be swift-acting and efficient, and the enforcement structure will be uncompromising and authoritative in executing the preventions and redemptions assigned to it by its bureaucratic counterpart.


Security and the Scandalous Syrian SNAFU

It is March of 2011 and violence suddenly erupts throughout Syria. The autocratic al-Assad regime is now in the midst of civil war. The chaos and unrest throughout the region allows a breeding ground and training camp for radical Islamists, and almost overnight the country becomes a quagmire of devastation and bloodshed. The UN was quick to react to the outbreak of violence, and began to attempt to mediate in 2012. Three attempts were made by three distinct, UN-appointed, mediators to resolve the conflict (Lundgren, 2016). It has now been six years, and yet war continues to dominate the country. Four-hundred-and-seventy thousand dead, eleven million displaced, and one million living in besieged areas (Human Rights Watch, (n.d.)), what could the barrier to resolving such a Hobbesian state of conflict possibly be?


It appears to be the fundamentally flawed nature of a democratic institution operating at an anarchic level. The UN Security Council had decided on a path forward as early as February 2012, agreed to by a majority three fifths of the permanent members. The blockage came from the minority two fifths: Russia and China (Lundgren, 2017). Who are able to, each, single handedly belay any action they disagree with due to the unrestricted freedom of veto held by each of the five permanent members. While the ‘Tyranny of the Majority’ is a valid concern, it seems to be a much more fundamental flaw when we experience the ‘Tyranny of the Minority’. Such has remained a massive issue throughout the UN attempts to defuse the Syrian situation. In fact, the first of the three UN-appointed mediators, Kofi Annan, became sorely dismayed and resigned his position whilst “criticizing the international and regional powers for failing to join up behind his effort and provide the kind of leverage that the execution of his plan required” (Lundgren, 2017). Lundgren goes on to determine that “repeatedly, the inability of the USA and Russia to join around a common approach for Syria pulled out the rug under UN mediation efforts”.


WHO Can It Be Now?

The UN document entitled Guidelines for the designation of Goodwill Ambassadors and Messengers of Peace states that individuals invited to serve as Goodwill Ambassadors or Messengers of Peace shall: possess widely recognized talent, support the purposes and principles of the United Nations, possess the dignity required for such high level representative capacity, and promote the values of the United Nations (United Nations, (n.d.)). Contemporary dictator Robert Mugabe does not seem to fit these qualifications. Nonetheless Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus of the UN’s World Health Organization (WHO) declared that Robert Mugabe would now act as the WHO ‘Goodwill Ambassador’ on NCDs in Africa.


Robert Mugabe, the current President of Zimbabwe, has held a tyrannical power for thirty-eight years. Coming into power through democratic process in Zimbabwe’s annexation from Britain in 1979 - 1980, Mugabe’s Zimbabwe African National Union (ZANU) immediately executed what is known as the Gukurahundi campaign, in which his forces carried out techniques of intimidation and systematic violence against his primary political opposition at the time, the Zambian African Peoples’ Union (Tendi, 2011). Furthermore, “in 1999 Mugabe ordered the invasion of white-owned commercial farms . . . in order to ward off [a] new political threat . . . the disastrous economic consequences that followed the farm seizures can certainly be put down to Mugabe's toxic decision to risk economic prosperity for the sake of retaining political power” (Tendi, 2011).


The world, fully aware of the autocracy and ruthlessness of Mugabe’s reign, was outraged and decried the announcement of his new position in the WHO. Ghebreyesus took this outrage under consideration and hastefully rescinded his decision to follow through with such an appointment. The question remains, however: how did such a decision get made in the the first place? Luke Allen, of Oxford University, speculates that the decision was made based on the Director General’s platform of universal health care, which coincided with Zimbabwe’s national policies of universal healthcare (2017). Some aspects of this ‘alignment’ that seem to have been overlooked include factors such as the WHO’s own assessment of the Zimbabwean state, finding that less than half the population is satisfied with the performance of the health system in place and further arguing that such a discrepancy is “mainly due to the deteriorating economic environment of the last decade which resulted in unavailability of essential medicines and critical health care workers” (World Health Organization, (n.d.)). Also looking at the World Bank’s data for Zimbabwe we can see that they have an extremely low life expectancy of 60 years, which actually took a significant hit for a stretch of 15 or so years from 1995 through 2009, during which it dipped as low as 44 years (World Bank, 2015) and has only recently begun to incline once more. This does not seem to correlate with a country who has a universal healthcare system worthy of such ‘goodwill’ recognition in the world’s most prominent international health institution.


All of this, seemingly satirical, business thus makes one wonder just how learnĂ©d the UNWHO is when it comes to matters of their own device. The UN is the architect of human rights and development. Yet, here we have a savage violator of such rights being (nearly) praised with recognition and a position of status and power within the very organization which his actions so vehemently contradict. How could such a blunder possibly occur? Allen, who works as a consultant for the branch of the WHO that put on the fateful conference, alleges that “[i]t does not seem that the Director General shared his intention with any senior WHO staff; my colleagues were as dumbfounded as the international community” (2017), but further supposes

[h]is years of experience pragmatically overseeing significant health improvements within an oppressive [Ethiopian] government may explain his willingness to engage with other unsavoury regimes. This is a difficult line to tread. Non-communicable diseases advocates sympathise with his inclusive inclinations, but have drawn the line at having Mugabe as their figurehead (2017).


Even bearing such in mind, one would be hard-pressed to find a less suitable candidate for such a position. So, while likely well-intentioned, the UNWHO has done a very poor job in this case of advocating for and enforcing their own decrees in regards to the developmental indices of the African peoples. In this attempt to advocate for NCDs they have made a massive blunder and caused harm to the areas most in need of such advocacy. The failing of the UN in this case does not amount to anything foundational, yet rather to the poor potentiality for effective communication at such a mass and intricately interwoven level as is global governance. With so many departments, and sub-departments of sub-departments, it becomes difficult to blame Ghebreyesus for not bothering to clarify his intent.


Climate and the American Hot Topic

Our planet is changing, and with it we must change alongside, lest we risk becoming disharmonious with nature and the natural order. Should such a disharmony occur it would pit humanity against nature itself in a battle to the death. Therefore, when humankind’s most prominent and respected body of technical knowledge --science-- begins to say that the actions of our species are leading to such a disharmony, and so too begging the end-times, then there ought to be an institution in place to prevent such a catastrophe from occurring. Such preventative measures would necessarily require two stages of enactment. The first would be to define the problem and the according action plan to avoid it, and the second would be to enforce those measures should certain areas of the world choose not to comply.


The world currently has such a problem of potential disharmonization: emissions-driven climate change. The system we currently work with, the UN, realizes only a single of the two necessary stages to prevent the incoming heat-death-apocalypse. This first stage is realized by the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, the ultimate objective of which is the “. . . stabilization of greenhouse gas concentrations in the atmosphere at a level that would prevent dangerous anthropogenic interference in the climate system . . .” (United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, (n.d.)). From this convention spawned both the Kyoto Protocol and the Paris Agreement. Each of which are multilateral agreements to alter the way in which states operate, and allow their citizens to operate, such that the world as a cohesive unit can avoid catastrophic ecological meltdown in the near future. The issue, however, is that the signing of such documents is voluntary. Furthermore, even for those who do sign, the UN is incapable of enforcing the mandates of these agreements. Savasan reinforces this standpoint by arguing “in fact, [the Paris Agreement] can have a binding character only for those states expressing their consent to be bounded by the treaty . . . [and] regardless of its binding status that eventually it will take, the related party can resist to be in non-compliance with its commitments under the Agreement despite the existence of response measures it can come across with, because there is no enforcement mechanism under international law” (Savasan, 2017).


Alas, we find ourselves looking into the eyes of such an ignorant nation and wondering, fruitlessly, which seminar it was that they missed. By the estimates of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), in 2014 there was a global emission count of greenhouse gases (GHG) summing 9855 million metric tonnes (MMT) (Boden, 2017), of which the United States was responsible for approximately 6740 MMT (Environmental Protection Agency, (n.d.)). One would expect them, based on this predominant percentage of contributions, to further contribute in taking a leading role in reducing the chances of our species dying an untimely death as a result of GHG-driven climate change. But, much like Honey Badger, America does not seem to care (Randall, 2011). The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has been around since 1988, and within its nearly 30 year lifespan it has made two gargantuan efforts at stabilizing climate change. The first effort was in the late 1990s with the declaration of the Kyoto Protocol (KP). To begin with there were 84 signatures on the protocol, the United States was one of them. This meant that the United States promised to go back and ratify the changes within its national governmental structures. The action stage of the KP came around in 2005 and at that time only 55 of the signatory countries had followed through with ratification of the protocol, the United States was not one of these. Presently there are 192 countries which have followed through with ratification, a grouping within which the United States is not included (United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, (n.d.)). The second effort by the IPCC is referred to as the Paris Agreement (PA). The PA came into being in 2015, and was signed, ratified, and brought into force by the United States on November 4, 2016 (United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, (n.d.)). However, they have now declared their intent to discontinue observation of the PA (Crilly, 2017. Harrington, 2017. Liptak, 2017). This decision is justified based on the argument that a reduction in GHG emissions would threaten the prosperity of the U.S. economy. Here we are able to see more clearly that the seminar that America seems to have missed was the one in which it was posited that the ability to make money is irrelevant when the scorching heat of the Sun has dried up all the fresh water, and the hundreds of millions of displaced coastal peoples march inland to avoid the catastrophic rising sea, causing disease and crime to embark on a malignant campaign throughout the over-dense urban centers. Still, even such misinformed terrorism is to be expected now and then in a world of seven billion and growing. The issue is not that such uninformed opinions continue to occur, but rather that such unfounded opinions are permitted to proliferate!


A Brave New World

Based on the aforementioned shortcomings on the UN as a form of global government, I now propose a solution. This solution may seem slightly radical, and too jarring to properly implement, but it should be viewed as a normative approach to fall piece-by-piece into place over an extended period of time.


It will be necessary to dissolve the notion of the state, and thereby the notion of sovereignty. Sovereignty is an archaic concept that no longer serves this globalized community we now all live within. Sovereignty and statehood are notorious at creating problems simply by their definition of ‘us and them’; and in fact the rising prevalence of transnational issues attests to this onwards progression past the ‘Age of the State’. This is especially apparent when looking through a realist lens, but is just as plain coming from other lenses as well: constructivism sees that by defining differences we therefore create and perpetuate them, liberalism has this notion of ‘freeing’ the others, which can be justified in certain cases, such as the responsibility to protect, but becomes quickly tarnished when looking at America’s efforts to violently democratize and liberalize the globe (Poh Phaik, 2009. Cordesman, 2014). What we should have left after such a dissolution of state is a single cohesive ‘state’, namely Earth; with a single cohesive ‘ethnicity’, namely Human.


This begs the question of just how we would go about governing such a unified world, and the answer is as plain as the problem: we do not govern ourselves. Rather we allow ourselves to be governed by an arbiter of equality and righteousness, an arbiter who is not twisted, and corrupted, and led astray by passion and emotion. This arbiter would be an artificial intelligence neural network (AINN), a computer which can think and learn for itself. Google has developed an AINN that, itself, builds other AINN, and in fact has begun to write code which surpasses human capability (Lant, 2017). While this technology is still very young, one can foresee a future in which an AINN could program another AINN which was free from all human bias and subjectivity --the perfect governor-- An AINN such as this would also be capable of always knowing what every other part of itself was doing.


But what good is a government that cannot enforce the decisions it makes? It is for this reason that this new global government structure which I propose is to be supported by its own enforcement structure: an army of robots sporting the non-bias AINN software from the governmental super-network. These robots would only activate should the need for enforcement of some type arise. Gone are the days of financing a standing army, this brave new world will have divisions of the most highly trained super soldiers --imagine ‘SuperTroop Battledress’ without the human inside (Jacobsen, 2015)-- prepared to deploy ad hoc, and for no more than the cost of materials and production.

Conclusion

We have spent the last number of pages discussing the UN in its various elements, and looking specifically at three case studies demonstrating its failings as a global government. We discussed Syria and the UN’s inability to effectively combat the vast suffering and abuses of human rights due to the faulty veto structure of the Security Council. Thereafter we discussed the foolhardiness of the WHO in its recent selection of an advocate for NCDs in Africa. Finally, we talked about climate change and America. To these problems was suggested an encompassing solution: the dissolution of the state and the introduction of a global non-aligned artificial intelligence neural network government, backed up by a politically-neutral robot enforcement structure. While seemingly science-fictitious, this solution is actually within reach technologically. The only real problem will be convincing the dark overlords of our current political climate to cede their power and subject themselves to a greater good.




References


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Boden, T.A., G. Marland, and R.J. Andres. (2017). Global, Regional, and National Fossil-Fuel CO2 Emissions. Carbon Dioxide Information Analysis Center. doi 10.3334/CDIAC/00001_V2017

Cordesman, Anthony H. (2014). Russia and the “Color Revolution”: A Russian Military View of a World Destabilized by the US and the West (Full Report). Center for Strategic and International Studies. Retrieved from https://csis-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/s3fs-public/legacy_files/files/publication/140529_Russia_Color_Revolution_Full.pdf

Crilly, Rob. (2017, June 02). Donald Trump pulls US out of Paris climate accord to 'put American workers first'. The Telegraph. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06/01/trump-pull-paris-accord-seek-better-deal/

Environmental Protection Agency. (2017). Inventory of U.S. Greenhouse Gas Emissions and Sinks, p. 28. Retrieved from https://www.epa.gov/sites/production/files/2017-02/documents/2017_complete_report.pdf

Harrington, Rebecca. (2017, June 01). Here's what the US actually agreed to in the Paris climate deal. Business Insider. Retrieved from http://www.businessinsider.com/what-did-us-agree-to-paris-climate-deal-2017-5

Human Rights Watch. (n.d.). Syria Events of 2016. Retrieved from https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2017/country-chapters/syria

Jacobsen, Annie. (2015, September 23). Engineering Humans for War. The Atlantic. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/09/military-technology-pentagon-robots/406786/

Lant, Karla. (2017, October 16). Google’s Machine Learning Software Has Learned to Replicate Itself. Futurism. Retrieved from https://futurism.com/googles-machine-learning-software-has-learned-to-replicate-itself/

Liptak, Kevin. (2017, June 02). Trump on Paris accord: 'We're getting out'. CNN. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/01/politics/trump-paris-climate-decision/index.html

Lundgren, M. (2016). Mediation in Syria: initiatives, strategies, and obstacles 2011-2016. Contemporary Security Policy, vol. 37, iss. 2, pp. 273 - 288. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/13523260.2016.1192377

Poh Phaik, Thien. (2009, July 31). “Explaining the Color Revolutions”. E-International Relations: Students. Retrieved from http://www.e-ir.info/2009/07/31/explaining-the-color-revolutions/

Randall. (2011). The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger (original narration by Randall). Youtube. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

Savasan, Zerrin. (2017). A Brief Assessment on the Paris Climate Agreement and Compliance Issue. International Relations, vol. 14, iss. 54, pp. 107 - 125.

Tendi, Blessing-Miles. (2011). ROBERT MUGABE AND TOXICITY: HISTORY AND CONTEXT MATTER. Representation, vol. 47, iss. 3, pp. 307 - 318. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/00344893.2011.596439

World Bank. (1960 - 2015). Life expectancy at birth, total (years). Retrieved from https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.DYN.LE00.IN?locations=ZW

World Health Organization: African Health Observatory. (n.d.). Zimbabwe: Health system outcomes. Retrieved from http://www.aho.afro.who.int/profiles_information/index.php/Zimbabwe:Health_system_outcomes

United Nations. (n.d.). Guidelines for the designation of Goodwill Ambassadors and Messengers of Peace. United Nations. Retrieved from http://ask.un.org/loader.php?fid=2327&type=1&key=786b82ec74b2caf1c1382109cf68377a

United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change. (n.d.). First steps to a safer future: Introducing The United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change. Retrieved from http://unfccc.int/essential_background/convention/items/6036.php

United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change. (n.d.). Paris Agreement - Status of Ratification. Retrieved from http://unfccc.int/paris_agreement/items/9444.phpUnited Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change. (n.d.). Status of Ratification of the Kyoto Protocol. Retrieved from http://unfccc.int/kyoto_protocol/status_of_ratification/items/2613.php

Thursday, 27 July 2017

The Philosophy of Wiping Your Own Ass

The Philosophy of Wiping Your Own Ass

Wiping your own ass is a challenge which most people would never admit to experiencing. "Of course I know how to wipe my ass! Do I look like a baby!?" may come the retort from someone asked if they knew how to do it. And for a long time I was one of those people too. But as I have become more comfortable in my body and also more comfortable admitting the things I do struggle with, I have come to admit that I do not know how to wipe my own ass. The only real teachings I received around the subject were to 'keep going until the paper comes back white' and this was not always helpful advice, for often times the paper would fade from brown to red and I would be perplexed by the contradictory evidence: brown means I am not done yet, but red means I have overdone it. So what does it mean when the two are mixed together?! I hypothesized that it meant I was doing something wrong and thereafter set out upon a personal ass wiping quest of discovery.

The ass of another person is an easier thing to deal with, because you can make first hand visual confirmation of the dirtiness or cleanliness of the ass itself, and if it is dirty then you know specifically which areas are and are not. The ass of oneself, however, is a totally different story! Now, suddenly, the visual cues of the state-of-the-ass are coming in secondhand (from the paper) and while this seems like a small and easily navigable jump in methodology, I have found that this crevasse is actually wider than it seems. I began my journey into the philosophy of ass-wiping when I began to experience various signs and signals that I was not as exquisite an ass wiper as I had once presumed. Now, many years into this journey of anal hygiene, I finally feel that I have enough information to come forward with. I am confident that, here during my 26th year of life, I finally understand how to wipe my own ass! I have discovered a three stage strategy of ass wiping which, when affixed by specialized hand techniques, wipes the ass better than any of the more traditional techniques alone.

The Traditional Techniques and their Associated Flaws

The first technique I learned was as a young child and has come to be known as the Front-to-Back. This technique is where the paper is gripped in one way or another, and the hand and arm take a long, and slightly awkward, route to the ass by twisting the torso to one side and stretching the arm over and around the hip and buttcheek. This technique, in my own experience, was taught as a standing technique. However, it grew into a sitting technique, which was even more uncomfortable, because then, alongside the contortions of the upper body, one must also lift one buttcheek off the seat for access and this is done by popping the hip up (even moreso into the way of the arm than it was to begin with). The benefits to this technique are that the ass is being wiped in an away-direction from the genitals and thus one need be much less cautious. The detriment to this technique is that it is uncomfortable, slightly awkward, and most of all the fact that the crack of the ass extends far beyond the butthole in this direction. This means that one is at risk of smearing the bulk of the  waste into the upper crack area, where it will begin to cause severe social disharmony.

The second technique I learned was through observation of my elders and it is a practice I implemented to fulfill my need to 'be grown-up'. This technique has come to be known as the Back-to-Front and it solves many of the problems of its predecessor, while yet bringing even stronger problems of its own. The Back-to-Front is a technique where the paper is held, in one way or another, and the hand reaches through the opening of the legs into the toilet bowl for access to the ass. When performing the Back-to-Front there is a very real danger of misjudging the air to water ratio available in the bowl, and thus dipping one's hand into the no-longer-potable water. However, this is a minor detriment compared to the true crux of Back-to-Front'ing, which is the friction-tear crux. You see, the butthole is not a perfectly formed piece of anatomy. If you look closely at the butthole, you will tend to find there is an imperfection near its bottom. This imperfection might be referred to as a knot. When performing the Back-to-Front the paper is typically dragged across this knot, and the repetitive friction upon this concentrated area often causes small tears to form.  This is a painful experience and remains so for long after the ass is wiped, but the true difficulty in the friction-tear crux is that the immediate pain of the wound severely inhibits continued wiping, and therefore tends to lead to a progressively less-satisfactorily wiped ass as time goes on. The last detriment to be spoken of is one which I refer to as the Social-Physical Problem. This problem arises due to the ass being wiped towards the genitals. So in males there is the risk of having a very socially-traumatic episode involving what was once on your ass, now being on your scrotum. Meanwhile, for females, there is the risk of having a very physically-traumatic episode involving a septic vagina. As the reader will come to see, the Three Stage Strategy does not necessarily attend to all aspects of the Social-Physical Problem, but I will address these shortcomings later in this paper.

The Three Stage Strategy and Hand Techniques

The true art of wiping one's own ass comes in the technique of the hand. The hand is the skeleton of the tool, it is the foundation of the ass-wiping structure. Without proper hand technique it becomes pointless to even wipe the ass. I have discovered two 'gripping forms' and three 'wiping forms', and when used in perfect unison these forms have the potential to inaugurate a particular passion for ass wiping. The grip is as important as the wipe because without a proper grip one is liable to have paper slippage and dirty the hand. We will discuss the first gripping technique and its associated wiping forms. After which we will cover the second grip and the third wipe.

The first gripping technique is one which I call the Guiderail. This is where the paper sits on the three primary fingers, while the pinky finger pinches down from the top. This pinky pinch is what keeps the paper from sliding out of place as soon as there is drag from the butthole. The thumb, meanwhile, rests on top of the far side. This thumb pinch is what keeps the paper from rolling or flapping away from the main structure of the hand. This grip is used with both the first and second stages of the Three Stage Strategy.

We come to the first stage now, this stage is intended to remove only the bulk and excess of dirtiness within the ass, and is focused on the butthole itself. Grip the paper using the Guiderail style, push the middle finger inwards from the other two and perform a Back-to-Front. So ideally it is the middle finger which contacts, through the paper, the butthole, and the wipe should start at the middle knuckle and end at the fingertip with a small scooping motion. The Back-to-Front can be repeated another time or two in the case of an especially dirty ass. Remember, you are just clearing the bulk here, there are still two more stages to a cleanly ass.

The second stage applies a variation on the Guiderail. It is intended to target the anal areola, where the majority of the filth tends to reside. Now, instead of pushing the middle finger in, it is both the middle and the ring finger which need to come forward; one should then perform a Front-to-Back. The two fingers, side-by-side, should contact either side of the anal areola. The wipe should start at the middle knuckle and end at the fingertip with a small scooping motion to avoid the Social-Physical Problem. I prefer to perform this stage in a standing position due to the ability to find the most parallel purchase with the buttcrack. Furthermore, considering the bulk was dealt with in stage one, there is little concern about the buttcheeks spreading the filth about when they close together as the standing is performed. The Front-to-Back should now be repeated until the report from the paper begins to show a significant decline in filth. While this report may vary from person to person I identify it with basically white paper, but still clearly some small signs of uncleanliness.

The second gripping technique is one which I call the Prizeclaw. This is where the tips of the fingers all come together at roughly the same point to create five equally-lateral supports. Imagine you are attempting to hold a golf ball with your fingertips. Where before the paper was manipulated into a multi-layered rectangle, with the third stage of the technique the paper is bunched up into a very loose ball, much like a luffa. This paper-luffa is then gripped with the Prizeclaw technique and used to scrub the butthole up and down. Typically one would not scrub up and down in the ass because the filth would simply be spread about. But with the three stage technique there is no longer enough to spread around. The ass is quite clean at this point, and the only remaining filth is held within the groovy wrinkles of the anal areola. Since both sides of each groove need to be attended to, the up and down scrub makes the most sense. Repeat this final technique a couple times and the paper should report full cleanliness of the ass. Congratulations you have done it: you wiped your own ass!

Other Considerations
I would like to dedicate a small segment here to the water versus paper argument. Many areas of the world use bidets for anal hygiene. I have had the privilege of trying some different bidet models out, and I found them all to be sorely disappointing. There are two issues that I found. The first was the lack of report, there is no realistically efficient way to determine the state-of-the-ass when relying on a bidet. The second issue I found was the lack of pressure, which did little, if anything at all, to clean the ass. At the times of my experiences I was under the impression that one need simply spray the butthole with the water and all would be well. As it turns out this is brashly incorrect.

As I discussed this issue with a friend of mine he was generous enough to enlighten me with his understanding of the ‘philosophy of bum-gunning’. One is to use the meager pressure to deal with the bulk of the filth. After which, one ought to soap one’s hand and proceed to utilize the bare, soapy hand to gently massage the butthole, cleansing it thoroughly with the hand and fingertips, and thereafter wash the hands clean of any residue. I am excited for my next foray into a part of the world which provides the water option, so that I can practice this new understanding and develop a firmer philosophy, and deeper understanding, of my own regarding the water versus paper argument.

The Social-Physical Problem
Earlier on we touched on the Social-Physical Problem, and the issue arose that the Three Stage Strategy does little to solve the ass wiping woes of women. I am not a woman and therefore I can only hypothesize about this issue, but hypothesize I shall! Based on my repertoire of understanding regarding anal hygiene, and the female anatomy, I shall now posit an alternative Three Stage Strategy to combat the female side of the Social-Physical Problem!

I believe that one should begin with the Front-to-Back while having the middle finger forward. Then, continuing on with Front-to-Back, switch the finger technique to the middle and ring-finger style. Tertiarily, switch to the Back-to-Front technique, but do not aim the wipe at the butthole and instead aim the wipe at the upper crack area to catch any filth the first stage may have relocated there. Finally, finish with the third stage Prizeclaw scrub.

Concluding Thoughts
I truly hope that my years of research and failed trials have brought a degree of enlightenment to your own philosophy of ass wiping. We were able to discuss quite a bit of information within this paper, yet still so much remains to be discovered. I would appreciate any appropriate thoughts regarding the subject of ass wiping, and I welcome any messages of gratitude you may have. I am particularly interested in hearing from any female wipers with comments or concerns regarding my theoretical solution to the feminine side of the Social-Physical Problem. Thank you so much for reading and I wish you the highest fortunes in your future anal endeavours.


Peace and safety,


Cyril C. House
chouse@ualberta.ca

Monday, 17 April 2017

A Functional Understanding

Cyril C House
Ancient Metaphysics

A Functional Understanding

    Aristotle, throughout his successive series’, builds up to what has come to be labelled ‘The Function Argument’. He begins leading up to this argument  as early as Physics and makes his ultimate statement(s) regarding his thesis in Nicomachean Ethics. The intention of this short paper is to identify and assess this Function Argument. I will begin by pointing to a few highlights throughout Aristotle’s reel of argumentation, and thereafter dip into one of the common criticisms of this argument. By the end of the paper I trust to find that Aristotle’s Function Argument will remain standing tall.

    In Physics Aristotle identifies four foundational causes of things: material, formal, efficient, and final. For the sake of brevity I will assume the reader is already familiar with these causes. Of these four causes, it is primarily the final cause with which we are concerned herein. Aristotle says, of the final cause, that:
[It is] in the sense of end or ‘that for the sake of which’ a thing is done, e.g. health is the cause of walking about. (‘Why is he walking about?’ we say. ‘To be healthy’, and, having said that, we think we have assigned the cause.) The same is true also of the intermediary steps which are brought about through the action of something else as means towards the end (194b)

So it can be understood that the purpose of some-thing is its final cause, and this ‘purpose’ may be otherwise referred to as its ‘function’. The function of a tree is the resultant phenomena of all the tree-activities working in harmony, and this function is understood as ‘to tree’, the function of the tree is to do tree stuff and when the causes of the tree are in harmony with one another it is only then that the tree is ultimately tree-like. Of artifacts there is typically a function which the artisan has in mind as she creates the artifact itself, so therefore the function of a guillotine is to cut the heads off of people. The guillotine is then ultimately guillotine-like only as it is cutting the heads off of people. This argument is the beginning of how Aristotle leads up to the Function Argument itself. It can be understood from the previous reasoning that a human is only ultimately human-like as far as it is able to fulfill its function, whatever that function may be.

    Moving on throughout the writings of Aristotle, we come across De Anima. In 413a through 414b he distinguishes between differing tiers of a nested hierarchy of being. The inner most nest is nutritive and is characteristic of plants (they are able to feed themselves). The middle most nest is sensitive and is characteristic of base animals (they are able to feel things), there is also reference to locomotive capabilities in this tier. The outer most nest is rational thought and is characteristic of humans. So the inner most nest is only capable of feeding itself, while the middle most is capable both of feeding itself as well as sensing its surroundings and moving about, and the outer most nest is capable of all faculties, feeding itself, sensing its surroundings, moving about, and thinking rationally. This is how Aristotle distinguishes the unique capability of humans as apart from other forms of life. It is this uniqueness which he presumes must be the unique function of the human animal, and therefore its function. For to simply feed oneself cannot be considered to be an activity which would make one ultimately human-like, for plants and animals also do this thing. The same considerations apply to sensation and locomotion, these are not ultimately human-like for base animals are also capable of these things. So we see that De Anima, in part at least, serves to flesh out the function(s) of different living things; this is the foundation of the thesis which Aristotle will render within the framework (from Physics) of final causation in humans.

    Finally, coming to Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle puts forth the Function Argument itself. In this book he is exploring the chief good of being human. He comes to rest upon the point that the chief good of any human is to be eudaimon, roughly translated as happiness. However, it is not just any sort of happiness, and certainly not the common conception of happiness. For happiness is often constructed in such a way as that “even the same person identifies it with different things, with health when he is ill, with wealth when he is poor” (1095a). Aristotle seeks a happiness which is ”always desirable for itself and never for the sake of something else” (1097a), and in the pursuit of such a thing he unveils eudaimonia which is more like a virtuous happiness, or else the type of well-being associated with living a virtuous life. What type of life is a virtuous life? He goes on to explain that “the function of man is to live a certain kind of life, and this activity implies a rational principle, and the function of a good man is the good and noble performance of these, and if any action is well performed it is performed in accord with the appropriate excellence: if this is the case, then happiness turns out to be an activity of the soul in accordance with virtue” (1098a). He concludes that happiness, as is understood to be the rational exercise of virtue, is the ultimate function of the human animal..
   
    So what is so problematic about this view? Turning now to a criticism of the thesis, Micha Gertner tells us that “[i]t is difficult to see how this reasoning follows. Just because a thing has distinctive properties in relation to other like things does not mean that these distinctive properties are its function. Consider a tall tree in a forest of shorter trees. Is tallness the purpose or function of this tree?”. There are two things which I find flawed about this particular claim. The first is that tallness is not a distinct property, plain and simple. All things have a certain height and therefore it is flawed to assume that just because some particular tree is tall-er than other things around it that this tree’s particular tallness somehow makes the property unique to it. Secondly, if we are to assume, for a moment, that this tree’s tallness is in fact unique to it then it could follow that tallness is indeed the function of a tree. For when we consider trees we will recall, from the first paragraph of this paper, that the end goal of a tree is to do tree stuff like photosynthesis and reproduction. So if we consider a tree which performs the act of tallness poorly we can project that this tree, being buried beneath taller trees than itself, will hardly catch any sunlight, therefore being unable to photosynthesize, therefore being unable to feed itself, therefore being unable to reproduce. Is this tree truly a tree? Is it able to realize its ultimate potential? No clearly not. So to go back to Gertner’s example: the tree which performs the act of tallness well will tower above the rest and thus be able to catch the lion’s share of sunlight, therefore photosynthesizing extremely well, therefore reproducing at a greater rate than those smaller trees around it. So to perform the act of tallness well enables a tree to be the best tree it can be and such tallness actually brings about its ultimate state of tree-ness. Following this line of reasoning it is plain to see how ‘tallness’ could be considered to be the function of a tree. This is identical to the idea Aristotle actually proposes: that, for humans, to perform the act of rationally exercising virtue well enables the human to be the best human it can be, eudaimon in other words. The function seems to be the act by which the chief good is realized, and therefore any property of a thing which enables it to realize its chief good is perfectly applicable as that thing’s function.

    Throughout this short paper I have done my best, in the space available, to assert, identify, and layout the buildup towards and execution of Aristotle’s Function Argument. We first visited the Physics in which Aristotle lays out the blueprint for all things by means of the four causes, and he seems to leave the final cause of the human animal open for interpretation or guesstimation. After which we sojourned in De Anima, wherein Aristotle lays out the blueprint of the souls of all living things. We discussed the nested hierarchy of plants to animals to humans and reiterated their unique properties. For plants this property was nutrition, for animals these properties were sensation and locomotion, and for humans this property was rational thought. Leading onwards into Nicomachean Ethics we were briefed on what the two previous paragraphs had to do with one another, that was that the unique property of humans from De Anima was being fed into the partially empty blueprint from the Physics, the final cause being solved for. We saw how comfortably the two fit together and briefly examined why this seemed to be the case. Finally we departed from the exposition of the topic to consider a critical reply against the thesis. A critique which I hope to have succeeded in either shutting down, or at least weakening the resolve of. Aristotle remains a canon of philosophical thought and discourse today and this is not for no reason, and I believe that other criticisms of the Function Argument could also be readily resolved by adamant Aristotelian advocates.










Works Cited

Aristotle, and Richard McKeon. The Basics Works of Aristotle. New York: Random House, 2001. Print.
Gertner, Micha. “Aristotle’s Dysfunctional “Function Argument””. The Distributed Republic. 19/11/2004. Web. 05/04/2017.